We are held back by forces and kept in an unending cycle; only a few tend to break free.
Breaking free doesn’t mean freedom, it means hardship.
It means survival; because you’ve chosen to follow through the no-man island where only a few thread.
When we see our lives, especially as young adults. We think we are in total control of things but the truth is we are bound by unspoken laws set by the society and our parents.
We are shaped by what they say and what they want. Those who disobey are tagged rebels or rascals.
They say “You need God”.
Thoughts of finding our paths will always cross our minds but the fear of being all alone or surviving without the society or the family that bore us keeps us shackled and stagnant.
There is a different life on the other side of doing what we want and becoming who we want.
I think the major force holding us bound is our parents.
Yeah! Our parents. Especially if your parents are very religious. They want to be the captain of your life and we live our lives thinking about them while making every single choice.
Do you think your life would be different if your parents never influenced your thoughts?
Have you ever thought about it?
Parents tend to still want to make decisions in our lives even after we cross the age of independence. They tell you where to live, who to be with, where to work, and who to marry.
They practically feel the need to see you become them or at least what they imagine you to become.
There is nothing wrong with parents offering advice to an 18-year-old but shoving it down the neck of an adult makes it cruel and unreasonable.
They are like “If you don’t do this, I am no longer your father or mother”. What happens to the chance to make mistakes and learn? Make mistakes and forever regret them.
A little guidance doesn’t hurt. Guidance with love is the best.
Not the one done with threats or without a deep understanding of the other party’s perspective of the situation.
Guidance is done with an open mind. Knowing fully well that you may have a point.
Guidance that admits when it’s wrong. Guidance that apologies when it’s wrong.
Parents play a very vital role in our lives but they can definitely do a better job.
Reading the Daily Dad Mail from Ryan Holiday has been insightful lately.
I see things from the perspective of a child noting what could have been done better by my parents. I saw the need to also start working on this route to becoming a good father.
Now, when it comes to finding your own identity, you have to be a rebel. You have to own a mind of your own.
You have to attain a level of understanding of what you want out of life. Then find a way to live by it daily till it becomes one with you.
You have the right to continuously reinvent yourself. But, when you do it too often; you lose the juice.
So, who are you? what do you want to be known for? what do you enjoy doing? What do you want to do forever? As football is to Beckham, as basketball is to Jordan, what is yours?
What do you find yourself coming back to even after you’ve tried other things?
Now this is not just about your career. It transcends career, business, fashion, religion or your skin colour.
It’s about all of you. Every tiny bit of your being aligns with what you truly want.
Figure out your identity. Write it out boldly. Walk, and run with it daily.
You might blow up, you might end up with 100 loyal fans.
At least you ended up with who you are.
Wage war against other things trying to fight with your identity.
“Until you identify your identity, you remain a nonentity.” – Sam Femi
