On Travel, Love, Product Management, and the List of Things That Will Give Me the Life I Actually Want
It has been a while since I last wrote to you, my friend. And I need you to understand something: life has a way of getting so full and so loud that sometimes you need to step back, close the laptop, and take the time to figure out what actually works for you before you show up again.
That is exactly what I did.
I have made a decision. You will hear from me at least once a month going forward. On a good month, maybe more than once. But once a month is the promise and I intend to keep it.
Now that we have settled that, let me tell you what has been happening.
What Is Germane Anyway?
At the start of this year, I sat down the way I always do when a new year begins: quietly, seriously, and with genuine intention. I thought about what I wanted out of this life. And I made a list.
I called the items on that list my germane. These are not lofty, impossible resolutions designed to make me feel ambitious for two weeks before they collapse. They are specific, meaningful things I genuinely believe will give me the kind of life I want this year.
I was careful not to put things on the list that would become overwhelming or that were so far out of reach they would only produce guilt. I wanted things that would stretch me without breaking me.
One of those germane was simple but significant: travel to at least three states in Nigeria that I had never truly spent time in before.
So far, I have made it to two. Let me tell you about them.
Abeokuta
If you know me well, you know I am what some people kindly call a loner. Others have used less kind words. Freak. Weirdo. I have heard them all.
Here is what I have learned from studying stoicism: other people’s opinions of me are simply not my business. When I look honestly at the lives of the people most eager to label me, I find that the critique says far more about them than it does about me. Marcus Aurelius understood this completely and so do I now.
My first trip was to Abeokuta and I went with my friend Jamal, a man who has long since crossed the line from friend to brother. I believe in experiencing significant moments with people who matter to me. We took a bus, spent two hours on the road, and arrived with open eyes and empty stomachs.
Finding affordable accommodation took longer than expected. It genuinely made me wish someone had built a reliable app to help tourists locate lodging in unfamiliar cities. If something like that exists, nobody is marketing it well enough.
We met up with three friends already in the city and together we made our way to the famous Olumo Rock. The history of that place is something else entirely. Listening to the stories of the people of Abeokuta and how the rock shaped their history was genuinely moving. I had no idea people actually lived beneath it. After the hike we sat down to chilled palm wine and peppered meat, which was exactly the kind of reward a climb like that deserves.
Then we decided to push on to Ibadan the same day.
Ibadan
One of the things I love most about travel is what it forces you to do: meet new people, learn things you could not have learned from a screen, and feel something genuinely unfamiliar. It pushes you out of the comfortable bubble of your own life and reminds you how much of the world you have not yet seen.
I had also never been on a train before this trip. So, we booked tickets and took the rail to Ibadan.
I want to give credit where it is due. The railway corporation impressed me. The journey was smooth, efficient, and punctual. No delays. No drama. Just a comfortable and surprisingly enjoyable ride.
We arrived late and linked up with a student at the University of Ibadan who helped us find a place to stay for the night. That place, however, came with something I had not budgeted for: mosquitoes of a size and aggression I had genuinely never encountered before.
Ibadan did me dirty. Let me just say that.
The following day we rested and visited the UI Zoo. We had planned to see the museum as well but it was closed. A couple of other plans fell through too, including meeting someone I had really been looking forward to seeing.
Ibadan was not the highlight of the trip. But it was still part of the story and every part of the story counts.
We boarded the train back to Lagos, arrived around eight in the evening, and made it home by eleven, tired, lighter in the wallet, and genuinely glad we went.
One more city to visit before the year is out. I think it might be Benin City. But we will see what life has to say about that.
On Love
Love is a full-time job where the pension is heartbreak and tears. And yet people keep applying in their millions.
I have thought about this a lot and I have come to believe that human beings simply cannot function without love. We might run from it, deny it, build walls against it, but we are always running toward it even while we pretend to run away.
It arrives unannounced. It does not ask permission.
In my own life, across all the experiences I have had with love so far, one thing has become clear to me: you cannot avoid it forever and a life without someone to love is barely a life at all. It is not a cross to bear. It is a beautiful curse we all carry.
What I can tell you is this: every heartbreak makes you more mature, more honest, and more ready for the next chapter. Do not close your heart because it has been hurt. Keep it open. Keep it curious.
I hope you find a heart to love, even after yours has been broken. Especially after it has been broken.
The Product Management Journey
You might be wondering what PM stands for in the context of my life right now. It stands for Product Manager and it is the path I have chosen to walk in the tech world.
Transitioning into product management while simultaneously working, finishing my degree, volunteering, and attending training sessions has been one of the most demanding things I have ever taken on. But demanding and worthwhile are not mutually exclusive.
I have been fortunate to benefit from several scholarships that have accelerated my growth in this space and I share more of those details regularly on my social media pages.
I believe this is the path for me. And I intend to walk it all the way.
Music for Your Ears
Late one night I fell down a YouTube rabbit hole of beautiful sounds and came out the other side with some new artists I need to share with you.
Check out Isak Danielson, Labrinth, and Jacob Banks. Three artists. Three entirely different worlds of sound. All of them worth your time and your late-night listening sessions.
I was once told that sharing music with someone means they mean something to you. You mean something to me. That is why you are reading this.
Thank you for coming back. Thank you for reading all the way to the end.
One day or day one. The choice, as always, is entirely yours.
Talk soon, friend.
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